Funny Christmas Lines from Movies

The holiday season isn’t complete without a good laugh, and Christmas movies are packed with hilarious moments. From sarcastic quips to silly one-liners, these funny Christmas lines are sure to tickle your funny bone and get you in the holiday spirit. Here’s a collection of the best comedic quotes from classic and modern Christmas films!

Classic Christmas Movie Quotes

Home Alone (1990)

“Keep the change, ya filthy animal!” – Gangster in the movie Kevin watches.
“Look what you did, you little jerk!” – Uncle Frank.
“Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!” – Kevin McCallister.
“Guys, I’m eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!” – Kevin McCallister.
“This is my house. I have to defend it!” – Kevin McCallister.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

“We’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny Kaye!” – Clark Griswold.
“Where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?” – Todd.
“Bend over and I’ll show you.” – Clark Griswold.
“It’s a one-year membership in the Jelly of the Month Club.” – Clark Griswold.
“Clark, stop it! I don’t want to spend the holidays dead!” – Ellen Griswold.
“If that thing had nine lives, she just spent ’em all.” – Cousin Eddie.

Modern Christmas Movie Quotes

Elf (2003)

“I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite.” – Buddy the Elf.
“You sit on a throne of lies.” – Buddy the Elf.
“I’m a cotton-headed ninny-muggins!” – Buddy the Elf.
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Buddy the Elf.
“He’s an angry elf!” – Buddy the Elf.

The Santa Clause (1994)

“It’s Santa! You killed him!” – Charlie Calvin.
“This is my son, Charlie. We’re about to take the North Pole by storm.” – Scott Calvin.
“Well, isn’t that a pretty picture? Santa rolling down the block in a panzer!” – Neil Miller.
“We’re your worst nightmare: elves with attitude.” – Bernard.
“Seeing isn’t believing. Believing is seeing.” – Judy the Elf.

Underrated Funny Christmas Quotes

The Grinch (2000)

“Am I just eating because I’m bored?” – The Grinch.
“One man’s toxic sludge is another man’s potpourri.” – The Grinch.
“It’s because I’m green, isn’t it?” – The Grinch.
“I’m booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I might still be able to squeeze you in.” – The Grinch.
“Help me… I’m feeling!” – The Grinch.

A Christmas Story (1983)

“I triple-dog-dare you!” – Flick.
“Fra-GEE-lay! Must be Italian!” – Mr. Parker.
“Oh, fudge. Only I didn’t say fudge.” – Ralphie.
“You’ll shoot your eye out!” – Various Characters.
“He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny!” – Ralphie’s Father.

Quirky Holiday Humor

Four Christmases (2008)

“You can’t spell families without lies.” – Brad.
“I’m not trying to be your friend. I’m your brother.” – Denver.
“Mom, we’re not having a Christmas lie detector test.” – Kate.
“Mistletoe. It’s like Christmas in a plant.” – Brad.

Bad Santa (2003)

“I’m an eating, drinking, sh—ing, f—ing Santa Claus!” – Willie.
“I beat the snot out of some kids today. But it was for a purpose.” – Willie.
“You ain’t gonna s— right for a week!” – Marcus.
“Why don’t you wish in one hand, and s— in the other. See which one fills up first.” – Willie.

Conclusion

Whether it’s Buddy the Elf’s childlike charm, Clark Griswold’s over-the-top holiday antics, or the Grinch’s sarcastic grumbles, these funny Christmas movie lines are perfect for adding a dose of humor to the festive season. Share them with friends, family, or during your next holiday movie marathon for a merry and bright laugh!

Classic Christmas Movie Quotes

Home Alone (1990)

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

Modern Christmas Movie Quotes

Elf (2003)

The Santa Clause (1994)

Underrated Funny Christmas Quotes

The Grinch (2000)

A Christmas Story (1983)

Quirky Holiday Humor

Four Christmases (2008)

Bad Santa (2003)

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